First 100 Days: Wiretap Tweets—Defined
By Charles W. Brice
Terrible (tĕr′ə-bəl): n. A salutation. Syn.: dear, my dear, hi, hello
Just (jŭst): n. & v. A statement of absolute truth. Ex: Just found out that Obama had my “wires tapped.”
Found Out (found out): tr.v. To receive an incontrovertible revelation of indisputable fact from a minor entertainment personage on Fox News.
Wire (wīr): n. A force aimed at crushing narcissism.
Tap also Tapp (tăp): n. A euphemism for the shattered fantasies of a tyrant.
Lawyer (loi′yər): n. Someone who will teach everyone a lesson.
Sacred (sā′krĭd): adj. A term used to depict something as being religious when one is wholly ignorant of religion or spirituality. Ex: sacred toothpicks, sacred cornflakes, “sacred election process.”
“Wiretap” (wīr′tăp′): tr.v. To watch, surveil, or look at. Ex: “Wiretap that girl, Billy, and pass me a Tic Tac.”
Bad (băd): adj. A dyspeptic global emotion experienced upon waking in the early hours and relieved only through tweeting before breakfast or by experiencing a huge, laxative induced, bowel movement.
Sick Guy (sĭk gī): n. Any member of the entire world who disagrees with the tyrant.
Sad (săd): adj. 1. Whatever inhibits grandiosity. 2. n. The present state of affairs in the United States of America.
Charlie Brice a retired psychoanalyst living in Pittsburgh. His full length poetry collection, Flashcuts Out of Chaos, is published by WordTech Editions (2016) and his second collection, Mnemosyne’s Hand (WordTech Editions), will appear in 2018. His poetry has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize and has appeared in The Atlanta Review, Hawaii Review, Chiron Review, The Dunes Review, SLAB, Fifth Wednesday Journal, and elsewhere. Read about Charlie’s collection Flashcuts Out of Chaos at The Borfski Press.
Note: Wiretap Tweets-Defined was previously published in Tuck Magazine.