The Woman Candidate
By Caralyn Davis
“You crave power,” they said.
“Everyone who runs for president craves power. You need power to get things done,” the woman candidate said. “The question is: What will each of us do with that power?”
“Women shouldn’t want that much power. You’re corrupt,” they said. “Look, here’s an article from a website our friends like that proves you’re corrupt. You’re a sleazy thief, an unpatriotic traitor, a murderer, a child molester, a slave owner. You’re also probably dying of a dread disease. You’re any caricature we can think of that justifies the fact that our skin crawls because you are powerful—and you seek more power still.”
“I want to help you, but I won’t make promises that aren’t attainable in the here and now,” the woman candidate said.
“You’re evil,” they said.
“I never claimed to be perfect, but I always did my best for the American people. Could you listen to what I have to say—consider my policy proposals?” the woman candidate said.
“You’re evil,” they said.
“Is it just me? Would you listen to another woman who doesn’t supplicate men?” the woman candidate said.
“Of course,” they said.
“Here’s my daughter. She has two master’s degrees and a doctorate,” the woman candidate said.
“She’s evil too, and that’s nepotism—she’s never worked a day in her life,” they said.
“Here’s the woman minority leader of the U.S. House of Representatives. She helped millions more Americans get healthcare at great political cost, and she helped pass an interim federal budget that keeps funding key programs when the president and his party wanted them cut,” the woman candidate said.
“She’s Hollywood liberal elite, trying to gut the values of the heartland, or she’s a neoliberal corporate shill. We can’t make up our minds, but either way, we hate her,” they said.
“Here’s a woman senator, a former state attorney general,” the woman candidate said.
“With those tits and that ass, she slept her way into every job she’s had,” they said.
“Here’s a woman senator who worked as a waitress to help pay her way through law school,” the woman candidate said.
“Talking the way she does, she’s unbalanced—hysterical,” they said.
“Here’s a fourteen-term congresswoman who champions the working class, women, and people of color,” the woman candidate said.
“She’s a racist conspiracy theorist, plus her wigs are as manly as your pantsuits,” they said.
“Here’s …” the woman candidate said.
“Not her either,” they said.
Caralyn Davis lives in Asheville, N.C., and works as a freelance writer/editor for trade publications in the healthcare and technology transfer fields. Her fiction and creative nonfiction have appeared in Word Riot, Eclectica, Flash Fiction Magazine, The Doctor T.J. Eckleburg Review, Superstition Review, EXPOUND, Monkeybicycle, and other journals. She likes cat acrobatics. She can be found on Twitter @CaralynDavis.
Image credit: DonkeyHotey via a Creative Commons license.