Removal
By David Gershan
“The problem started when anger itself became criminalized,” he explained behind surgical goggles. “The original purpose of the neural implants was to stymie physical aggression. The focus was on prevention—punishment and rehabilitation became less, well, fashionable.” He turned his head and pointed to the hairless, jagged scar just above his occipital bun.
“Did it hurt?” I asked. “When they took it out?”
“Removal was designed to hurt,” he reminded me. “Hence the implant’s anti-anesthetic properties. Remember, a month after implantation that invisible nanite has replicated to fully encase the amygdala. After that, triggering self-deletion without aggravating the brain’s pain center is tricky.”
I gazed at the room’s sole lightbulb, which hung from the concrete ceiling by a wire, and remembered the digital manual that came with my mandated implantation at age 16—something about “irreversible brain damage” and a “pervasive vegetative state” if the nanobot was forcibly removed while fully integrated with my neural tissue. But I was already sitting on that makeshift operating table, not to mention I had forced down those pocket bottles of gin he’d handed me.
“That happened with me,” he continued, “but there were crude ways around the pain. After all, I was in the back of a pawn shop below a liquor store.” He laughed, then turned and coughed dryly.
My stomach was warm from the alcohol and heartburn crept up my throat. I began to sit up but the surgeon instructed me to lie down and turn my body away from him. I arranged myself in a fetal position and stared at the gray brick wall.
“This shouldn’t take long” he assured me, his voice now muffled behind a surgical mask.
Suddenly the pitch of an electric drill sent adrenaline coursing through me. As soon as I felt pressure on the back of my skull the lightbulb began to flicker.
“Don’t mind that,” he shouted over the drill. I closed my eyes and prayed for the anesthesia to work. “You know,” he continued above the grind of steel on bone, “limbic monitoring was how the garage surgery movement all began.”
David Gershan works as a licensed clinical psychologist in Chicago, IL. When not at his day job, David can be found indulging in his love of music, literature, and creative writing. David has been published in various literary magazines and has written articles for an award-winning mental health blog. Follow him on Instagram at @gers0031 and on LinkedIn.
Photo credit: Gabriel Matula on Unsplash.