Elegy
By Bänoo Zan
For Jamal Khashoggi
I am Allah—
Al-Rahman[1]—
Al-Rahim[2]—
banished from
faith
and love
mourning—
beauty—
my Word—
censored—
I am mourning
my death—
The robe
of my Kaaba
stained with blood
of free speech
I have witnessed
Terror—
my sons beheaded
my daughters
deprived of light
I am Allah—
Beloved of
bards and prophets
Idol of rebels and Sufis
fleeing from
custodians
who desecrate
my house of
refuge
My body dismembered—
scattered over the woods—
I am seeking hearts
to take me in
They have stamped me
on their crown—
used me as cheap gold—
Bleeding
I wonder
if I will survive
Free me—
Free Allah
from despots
Free yourself
from fear
Let me live—
apostate infidel that I am—
At times like this—
with watan[3]
soaked in worshippers’ blood—
with faith soiled
and values sold—
which god do you worship?
Bänoo Zan has numerous published poems and poetry related pieces (over 170) as well as three books. Songs of Exile, her first poetry collection, was shortlisted for Gerald Lampert Award by the League of Canadian Poets. Letters to My Father, her second poetry book, was released in 2017. She is the founder of Shab-e She’r (Poetry Night), Toronto’s most diverse and brave poetry reading and open mic series (inception: November 2012). Follow the poet on Facebook, Twitter @BanooZan, and Instagram.
Photo credit: TMAB2003 via a Creative Commons license.
This poem was previously published in Dissident Voice.
[1] Gracious, compassionate
[2] Merciful
[3] Homeland