Rudy Springs a Leak
By Suzanne O’Connell
This morning I found a meatloaf in a basket.
When you look, there are always things to find.
The only time you can find a fraudulent ballot
for example, is when you look.
We have statisticians willing to testify
that there is a big coordinated Thing.
It lurks in every city.
It’s chained to the rack of your public library
in the ‘F’ section, ‘F’ for fraud.
It sits on your front porch next to the Ficus.
It’s taken over Silicon Valley and CNN.
It’s a scientific fact.
Even Tanzania has rules about inspectors.
Everyone knows the smell of rotten meat, right?
How did the meatloaf get in there?
It’s logical to ask.
Voters could have been dead,
or voted 30 times, or for Mickey Mouse.
An extraordinary number of brave,
patriotic Americans came forward to witness.
Extraordinary!
I don’t have time to read you their affidavits,
I need to grab some lunch.
And I seem to have sprung a leak.
I thought I was waterproof.
My suit is starting to feel greasy,
like prison stew.
My ducts might also be full
as my oil gauge is blinking.
Anyway, trust me, the pattern repeats itself.
It’s only logical.
Poet’s note: This is a found poem from Rudy Giuliani’s speech at the Four Seasons Landscaping Store.
Suzanne O’Connell’s recently published work can be found in North American Review, Poet Lore, Paterson Literary Review, The Summerset Review, Good Works Review and Pudding Magazine. O’Connell was awarded second place in the Poetry Super Highway poetry contest, 2019. She was nominated twice for the Pushcart Prize. She received Honorable Mention in the Steve Kowit Poetry Prize, 2019. Her two poetry collections, A Prayer for Torn Stockings and What Luck, were published by Garden Oak Press.
Rudy Giuliani portrait and photograph by Dan Lacey, via a Creative Commons license. Purchase his art on Etsy.
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